Churches and Faith Communities as Third Places/ Third Place Stories
I am a retired widow and empty nester who lives alone. I became acutely aware of my loneliness and isolation during COVID when I was 56 years of age. Before COVID, I was working for a large high-tech company among people I had known for many years. I also went to regular 12-step group meetings and attended weekly Catholic Mass. During the COVID lockdown, everything went online. Although I was on many Zoom calls daily, the lack of in-person connections over an extended period deepened my sense of loneliness and isolation.
Unfortunately, when COVID hit, I was not well-connected to the church community where I attended. While the church was conveniently located in the town to which I had recently moved, I found it unaccommodating to newer members like myself. The “regulars” seemed to cling together, giving only the obligatory greetings before Mass. No one reached out to me. It was up to me to make myself known and to break into the “inner circle” of long-time parishioners. When the church went online, I became even more isolated.
Meanwhile, a friend from work, “Cassie”, reached out to me to see how I was doing. We began meeting on Fridays for coffee in what we called our “Zoom Café”. As I got to know Cassie, I realized she and her husband were deeply connected to a non-denominational church, the Vineyard, where they had strong ties. As a Catholic, I was skeptical at first, yet I was incredibly drawn to her community. I joined an online Bible Study with Cassie’s church, where I was both welcomed and included; my faith was reinvigorated. I went to the church online and continued going after it returned to in-person.
The Vineyard church community’s love of God and neighbor is palpable, my heart sings with joy when I’m there, and my faith is flourishing. Without a doubt, this church functions as my “third place”, my home away from home. I have formed deep and lasting friendships there, and my gifts have been affirmed and put to use in various ministries; I belong.
-Andrea Doherty