Churches and Faith Communities as Third Places/ Third Place Stories
Often the Church has been a safe haven for young people who experience depression, loneliness or isolation. However, the opposite can be true, where the Church makes those experiencing mental health feel even worse.
My upbringing and family life has always been tied to serving in the Church and making our local Catholic community our second home. We were the type of family who would have our parish pastor over for dinner, take a lead role in the Church’s summer festival, and even during the COVID-19 lockdown, to assist in our parish’s mass livestream, I was one of only five people in the church working to bring the liturgy to the whole community. For me and my family, Church wasn’t considered a “third place,” this was our “first place.”
But then, when it came time to make friends in other places I have lived, feeling comfortable in a Church community felt like (pun intended) a Hail Mary. I attempted to join a young adult group at a parish, yet, as someone who was already dealing with mental health, the group made me feel as if I had to fit in instead of belonging just as I am.
Even as recently as this year, when my anxiety and depression was at an all-time high, trusting those closest to me in the Church felt like a mistake. I think sometimes even Christians look at those dealing with mental health as weak, looking for self-pity, or don’t have a strong enough faith. This could not be further from the truth. Failing to fully grasp someone’s battle with mental health can push that person away. This leads to more loneliness and isolation.
Yet, this is why my faith is as strong as ever. As someone who is striving to be a minister in the Church, my goal is to make those battling mental health feel at home in the Church so that it can be their safe haven. Church might not always feel like my “first place” these days, yet it is always going to be my most important place.
-Brendan DeVenney, MATM ‘26